Just one day as a child when you were conscious, and suddenly aware there were shows you liked, that you were an entity, that you had a history, a past. You had memories, thoughts and feelings you could retain; they wouldn't drift out of your reach any longer. You had permanence. It felt like eternity but you were only 3. Each 12 months of your existence actually millennia.

 Late start to day. Got heavy bag of household dirty linens out of room. Cat was out for a while, and I let her in. T talked to me last night about court matters. Wish I could explain my freeze responses better. Especially when I'm not even aware I'm doing it till afterwards. It's muzzy out. Front door open, 1 curtain drawn. Need to eat more, but my leftover carne asada fries just ain't doin' it.  Ignoring A is brutal, but for my psyche I've pulled it off.